Deflowering of Innocence

The Deflowering of Innocence
There was a time when we were brought up in an environment of love, trust and care. Naturally we trust our authorities that they have our best interest at heart. That everything they do, they do it for the good of mankind. We were brought in the home to trust our parents, to school to believe that the teachers were right, in the military that the generals do it to defend their rights, that the govt have the interest of the people, that the church cares for its people and are accountable to God. We are taught never to question the rights of the authorities.

Until one day when we are hurted and found that we lost our innocence. We realise that there are wicked people who take pleasure to destroy, that there are people who are blind to their zeal, that there are people who are devoid of justice, goodness and of unsound mind. Then we realise that there is no justice, no fairness, no truth in this God-forsaken world.

When we were young, we dream dreams. We dream of eliminating world hunger, of changing the world, or making the world a better place. But now we think of where to earn the next penny for our meal, clear our debts, making ends meet. Now we think about survival day to day, about keeping our sanity, and our the meaning of it all.

Everything that we were taught to be holy has been smeared. In fact, to be holy is to be out of place in this world. We don't call it sin anymore. They called it a mistake, a mistake of our birth, or the outcome of our upbringing. We blame it on the society except ourselves. What is wrong, they call it right and boast about it. They boast about how many people they have slept with, like it is a trophy. They justify war on a a reason that was non-existent. They kill in the name of peace.

Woe woe woe. My soul cries.
There is a time to live, a time to die. A time to build, a time to destroy. A time to dream, a time to awake. Suddenly, my life turn topsy turvy and now my life has stop. The writing project, my toastmastering and just about everything has stop. Probably my days in Toastmasters has stop as sudden as DTM Patrick Oei. The new generation has carry forward the touch into new grounds. Just as Moses pass the baton to Joshua, so must the new generation continues the movement. My days are probably over.

As I see my mother withered like a flower, in her old age, I see her time is coming coming to an end. I feel sad at the closing of a glorious era. I see the difficult childhood of my kids and I fear for their future. For what they turn out to be, I felt responsible and accountable as a father. For the happiness of my wife, I felt responsible as a husband.