Parable of the Zoo

How to Cut Cost - the Way of the Zoo

Times are bad and everyone is thinking of how to cut cost. I learnt from www.mrbrown.com that we can pick up a tip or two from the Zoo.

Why have so many animals of the same type when you can have one? Instead of having 5 elephants in the enclosure, just have one, since they all look the same. You have less shit to clean. With less animals, you can retrench some the shit cleaners.

Another way is to retire the senior chickens who have contribute hundreds of eggs in their lifetime, by culling them as part of the Chicken Flue contingency practice. These chickens are heroes of the Zoo, who sacrificed for the nation, so that the authorities can do a rehearsal on how to cull them properly. After culling 5,000 chickens, the great discovery was that the old workers are suffering from backache after carrying crates after crates of chickens stacked from the lorries.

To increase the revenue, a new Zoo ruling is that every animal must add value. Elephants must now provide rides for the visitors. 'Ah Meng' the orang utan has to eat breakfast with the visitors and posed for photo taking. The zoo has provided additional training to upgrade their skill. 'Ah Meng', our star performer is trained in modeling and photo-posing. The parrots are stationed at the entrance to usher the visitors in. Everytime a visitor enters, they would do a catcall and utter a word of welcome. After all, parrots are the only animals that can talk.

The zoo rent out snakes, who are word-class dancers, to entertainers, among them MJ and Jacky. I heard that MJ, after the success of the moon walk, is going to introduce his next revoluntary dance move. He might be drawing inspiration from the elegant moves of the snakes. Ages ago, Jacky has already mastered the snake strike fist movement from them. For generations, the Chinese must long master the art of 'eat snake'. So, you see, if the Zoo can market the snakes, and franchise their dance steps, the publicity will bring them big money.

Lions are expensive to maintain. They eat a lot, takes up a lot of space. To cut cost and add a dose of 'reality show', the zoo has decide to train a cat to roar like a lion. To add volume to its roar, it's getting the help of modern technology to amplify and digitise the voice. If William Hung, who cannot sing or dance, can be an American idol, any cat can roar like a lion.

If you want to learn how to run a family / organisation /country on a tight ship, take a leave from the zoo. Want to know more ? Pay a visit to "The Parable of the Zoo"